Monday, September 21, 2009

Time for Change

Its All About Me!

My newest decision about my lifestyle its GOTTA CHANGE !

I am embarrassed to say I am very overweight. I am not ready to admit how much I weigh, but I am willing to admit I feel lousy. I feel heavy, lumpy and just plain gross. So this is the day I start the complete turn around. I have made a promise to myself, for myself and will keep that promise no matter how hard I have to work to lose this excess weight.

You see, I have 4 kids. Yes, 4! Some say WOW how do you do it! They are so busy Well what they don't realize is that with every child I have I gained 40lbs!Just do the math.

Every day, I think I really need to do something about my weight, I need to change my life style, I am worrying my family, my friends, My husband and scaring my kids. I often worry if my kids are ashamed of me for being over weight. So its time to take the power back.

I want to be healthy, I want to be able to play baseball on a woman's team, I want to go to the beach without hearing " CALL MARINE WORLD THERES A BEACHED WHALE" I wanna look in the mirror and say Damn Steph, Your hot! I wanna be able to throw a bale of hay, shake and not have a few extra waves. I wanna be as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside.

Part of this battle I have taken is that I have battled with low self esteem. I have realized over the last few weeks, I am worthy, I am a great friend, a Amazing Mother, I am a loving caring wife who would do anything for my family. I am a good daughter. I do not have to put up with the self abuse that I have generated on myself for years. Now, I am at the stage where the self abuse ends. I have taken my spiritual journey of self discovery, I discovered a person under the layer of fat, that I often thought I had lost. But she is still there! She is screaming to get out screaming to be heard, seen and show the world how beautiful and positive she can be.

I will show my children what positive reinforcement can do, I will show my husband that the girl he fell in love with is still wide awake and waiting for her chance to ride this roller coaster of life with him! No more fear! Watch out cause its gonna be a helluva ride I'm sure!

If I am confident, my children will learn confidence.If i am confident then my girls especially will learn that they are wonderful remarkable beautiful creatures who can do anything they set their minds to regardless of the obstacles in their way.

Since I do not like the term diet, or life style change. I am calling this My Journey. It will take my on many adventures, and be full of obstacles that will create such a beautiful aura around me that will inspire my children to live up to their full potential and be the most remarkable people!.

So here it is MY Journey Its my Vow to myself..

I will lose the weight, being as beautiful inside and outside and I intend on blogging it so when its done I can look back and think HOT DAMN I CAN DO ANYTHING!

So farewell my friends, Wendy, Ronnie, BK Cl. Saunders. May you have a hearty life. But I'm on to bigger and more beautiful things.... With a much smaller ASS!!

Enjoy your day because today is the first day of the rest of your life!

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