Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Beatiful Dreamer

Every day I wake up feeling some what refreshed, and invigorated to get on with my day.

Every day I find sense that I was placed her to do something important.

Every day I thank God that I have the pleasure of being here one more day.

Every day there is a silver lining in one of my many smiles i recieve from my children.

What do I wish for them is that they are able to wake and dream the beautiful dream.

A dream filled with passion, love, patience, tolerance, empathy, but more then anything I dream that know and feel the love they have inside each of them.

So every day when I wake up I will always thank god for my presents.. future and past!

Last First Skate..

Yesterday was an emotional one for me.

Everything has a first. The first baby, the first tooth, the first step, the first day of school. For us is the first time we relinquish our child to the hockey coach, or skate coach. Yesterday, I did just that. My baby Pc 4 had her first hockey game if you would call it that.

She started her day with a big smile and very excited. We all were so excited. She went to school asking when she would go to hockey. We told her that she had to come home from school then it was off to hockey. So after school when i picked her up after a quick trip to Poppa and Grandma M's house we got ready for skating.

So we get her dressed, get her pads on her, pants and a Ottawa Senators Jersey on the beautiful little munchkin. Off to the rink we go. We get there, get her jersey, and sign the waivers ( yes, we have to sign medical waivers)

We get her skates on, what a trick that is. So she is ready. I'm getting emotional I know it sounds foolish but this is my baby girl. I really want her to be happy and I really want her to do well. But at the same time, I don't want to let her go. So what do I do. I think even Husband was a bit emotional. Its the last one who will have their first game.

She gets on the ice, and like all parents we are OHH! OOPS !! Keeping their balance, Yay they are up they are up! we chant like Hindu monks .

Shes on the ice and during the hour she got the time to stand up and get used to staying up. she took her baby steps.

I am just so proud of her!

This morning her first words were, I played hockey! I did it Mommy! The pride in her voice, the smile on her face made it totally worth the entire experience.

I am just so proud!

Sunday, September 27, 2009


In the 60's mucle cars were all the rage, Big, bulky and full of horse power. HOwever, cars back then were built for durability not comfort. The rigid plastic steering wheels, clunky gear shifts, big reving motors.

When Husbands father passed away, Husband inherited his fathers 1969 Acadian. THis car is still numbers matching. Nothing has been changed. Its orginal from the front bumper to the exhaust tip. It is my husbands baby.

Most recently the car has been in the driveway Much to husbands dismay, we just couldnt get it on the road this year. So it is has sat covered in the driveway, He starts it, and listens to it. He has said that there are times he has pulled in and seen his father sitting behind the wheel. Just watching. This is his connection to his Dad, and I refuse to let anyone take that from him. There is no amount that can do that for him.

Alot of people stop and look, some ask about the car, whats size of motor, what year etc. Then you get the very Stupid people who come and ask to buy it. They think that we would sell it.
One Saturday,husband left the house to grab coffee, the Preciosu Cargo were in the house and a couple came to the door. Now, you have to envision this. At this time we had a VERY aggressive and territorial dog, our Old Great Dane and a chi-Schunazer, This couple, opened the car door and were about to sit in the car, When PC1 said get away from the car, they advanced towards the door. However, were meet at the very closed and locked door by Winston, A german sheperd who earned his keep that day. PC 1 handled this situation with very cool head and wdas very repsonsible, he sent the other 3 kids to the back room where PC2 locked the door, The Old Lady, placed her self front of the kids, and I am sure if anyone got passed Winston things would have been bloody. The couple tried to come in to the house, and Winston bite, Yes the dog bit a human however he was protecting his "pack" Husband got home and dealt with the issue.

Since then we have had a few people come to the door asking about the car, and well I"ll be honest Im down right rude. I have lost all patience for this There is no for sale sign, there is no indication that the car is for sale and it is covered that should be a obvious indicator that it isnt going anywhere.

When we came home on Firday night we noticed that someone had removed the front part of the cover, that was when we decided we would remodel the garage to fit it in there. Enough is Enough!

The garage is a single car garage, with 2 large benches at the back. We will have to remove the benches, and reorganize the garage remove and getting rid of many items to fit the car in, However this is not a bad thing by any means. We have 3 cars, a pop up tent trailer and 4 Precious Cargo. Can you say Utter Choas? Our Driveway at times looks like an episode of cops, hence hiding the car will help us in more ways then one!

I will have to get some pics up of the old car and the garage. Its gonna be a tight fit but I am sure that it will work out well.

THought for today is If there is no FOR SALE SIGN The item is obviosuly not for sale!

How better to spend a weekend!

SO it has started, Hockey is at least up and running, We had a very enjoyable weekend. Busy But it rocked.

Friday night I took the girls to the dance, and didnt get my cookie! I was sad. BUt PC2 gave me back 5 bucks that she didnt use! YAY!

Saturday we were up and out and at the arena bright and early. We had a wondeful time. Kids practice went well. They look fantastic. I am sure this will be a defining year for the boys.

Today, PC3 had a hockey practice, it went well. He really has an eye for that puck.Then we spent the rest of the day rearranging the house, John and I both have decided that we need to do somet hings different. You see we have a very disorganized house, so its time to get things where they are useable and easily accessible. We also have to make room in our garage for our old car. It is rotting in the driveway and that is not what we want. So we can fit the car in the garage if it is emptied. So that is our intentions, to empty out the garage.

Tomorrow is Keegan's First game. Im sure Ill be hoarse by the end of the game . I cant wait! PC2 is playing in the Girls league tomorrow night. Her first game, I am sure she is excited and nervous But she has a violent cold. I hope for her sake she is feeling better. Poor mite has laid around all day. I hate flu season.

Then Tuesday PC4 gets on her skates for the first time ever! I will definately be taking pictures of that one. Unfornately I forgot my camera on Saturday.

So tomorrow its a back to school day I plan on going to drop kids off at school and then, heading to Timmy's for some morning relief. Then I have to finish clearing the drywall off the south wall in the girls bedroom, If we can get it plasticed, and drywalled, I can start to paintI hope this gets done soon!

Friday, September 25, 2009

I am a Hockey Parent..

Today was spent driving around to every second hand, sports store that we could find in search for a deal on hockey equipment. No really I did!

I swear a good deal is something that has become a fascination for me lately. I think my Hymie husband has been wearing off one me. Big goober!

Well it started at a St. Vincent De Paul. I love this store, we walked in and all the kids new exactly where to go. Straight to the sporting goods section. Well except PC4. She went right to the toy area! So we rummaged through skates, neck guards, shoulder pads, shin pads, elbow pads to find a great deal. I was beyond looking at prices at this point. I figured it will not be more then 4 bucks and if it is OH WELL we need it. a sense of desperation was seeping over me. Silently panicing, anxiety was taking hold and the old chest was starting to tighten, my heart was racing. all that went through my head was" what am I going to do if I don't find everything I need? what a failure I am as a hockey mom" While crouching down my face starts to get hot.. " don't cry now ya big suck" I am thinking to myself. " this will work out, Oh look a drawer" I open the drawer and hidden in this drawer was the most beautiful pair of skates, a set of elbow pads and small chest protectors. I looked up and felt the panic leave. I look at the price and my friend Iris voice goes through my head" oh look no price tag its free!" * dollars for all items there I giggled. All sense of panic was washed away.

So the my PC and I, decided we had ransacked the sports section enough that some couple actually asked me if I had enough hockey equipment. puzzled, I said Umm not yet. Still got helmets, gloves, and some small stuff why? they walked away.

You see NON hockey parents do not understand the importance of this, Hockey isn't a sport its a lifestyle, its a way of life for us. we live it, breathe it, plan around it, do not leave town because of it, or if your rep you always are out of town. We take time off work, we reschedule our lives so that our kids can play hockey. Would we change anything? HELL NO!

Parents of hockey players have a special rapport, this is our common ground, When you see a precious cargo score his/her first goal, after working so hard to get that puck, its doesnt matter if its your precious cargo or someone else you still are proud and you let them know it!

So when we get angry at our League, moan and complain about how early we have to get up. Its almost like a marriage of sorts, This is the same with hockey, as much as we despise getting up at 545 we do we volunteer, we stand in the cold arenas screaming until we have no voice left and we do it why? We do it because there is no better to spend a Saturday morning and I dont think there are many of us would be any where else!

After 5 stores, a lot of money and making PC1 and PC2 cabbage patch in the mall parking lot(that is my favorite part of taking the kids out) Our hockey equipment in hand, skates traded in and sharpened, mouth guards and some funky hockey tape in hand we are headed home!

At home, unload the van. This took a while because there was 4 of everything. and we come in the house for the "dry run" The dry run usually takes A LOT longer, there is adjusting, shifting and moving of equipment between kids, " wait, is that yours or his?" " Umm PC1 You wear a jock not a jill " ( yes, sometimes hockey equipment gets confusing)

So after the dry run, there is the official taping of the stick. This is a important factor of getting ready for hockey. A properly taped stick means ... OK I'm not sure what it means but it sounded really good. So, everyone has their sticks taped.Hockey equipment doesn't smell any funkier then usual, its piled up ready for the big game. ( the air freshener is in the van for after the game)

Being a hockey parent has its challenges don't get me wrong. With 4 hockey players we are at the rink 5 days a week. But you can't do for one that you wont do for the other! This year will be trying but we will love every minute of it. With the help of my amazing family and friends We will do it with ease.

You see NON hockey parents do not understand and think we are crazy! But hockey isn't a just asport its a lifestyle, its a way of life for us. we live it, breathe it, plan around it, do not leave town because of it, or if your rep you always are out of town. We take time off work, we reschedule our lives so that our kids can play hockey. Would we change anything? HELL NO!

Parents of hockey players have a special rapport, this is our common ground, When you see a precious cargo score his/her first goal, after working so hard to get that puck, its doesnt matter if its your precious cargo or someone else you still are proud and you let them know it!

So when we get angry at our League, moan and complain about how early we have to get up. Its almost like a marriage of sorts, This is the same with hockey, as much as we despise getting up at 545 we do, we stand in the cold arenas screaming until we have no voice left and we do it why? We do it because there is no better way to relax. TO be quite honest I dont think there are many of us would be any where else!

To me this is what memories are! These are the memories of my childhood I cherish most. with that, I will take the old memories, while I create memories for my precious cargo.. And someday, they will do the same for thier precious cargo

MY name is Stephanie, I am a hockey parent and DAMN PROUD OF IT! Maybe you should try it!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

How hard is it?

Sitting here fuming today! Things should not change. My dislike of change is becoming more evident as I get older.

This year, we finally as you read on one of my post got a team that was somewhat manageable for hockey. ONLY to find out about a change. Well , the politics in ALL house league games are more evident every year, they are more about what your last name is, how well you child plays and whose friends with whom. When a situation which would ease the burden on one family, is changed b ecause some idiot, wants his neighbors kid on his team, because they are friends over rids the determination of a player making ALL practices, and games due to scheduling conflicts.

I find this kind of behavior unbeleiveable. I find it offensive and I find it outright annoying!

So the League goes ahead saying Coaches are hand picking to many teams, and the Convenors will take care of the team building HOWEVER.. We will accomodate the Coaches/assistant coach ortrainers friends, then thier friends of friends etc.

I do not name drop,I try to avoid even using my maiden name due to the face people usually reference my older siblings or parents. HOWEVER feel MAYBE I should start using it, because this treatment is absoultely foolish!

It isnt even like I am asking an accomdation that requires alot of changes. I am asking the league to leave him on the same team he was orginally placed on! HOw hard is that?!?!

I am so very frustrated with this entire situation that switching leagues may be an option.
Should this not get resolved quickly.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


You know sometimes I just need to stop and think before I speak or in this case hit send.

But I get so frusrated and angry that I really need to get it out, tonight i recieved notice that the hockey team was changing the teams again. I have 2 days to get 3 kids ready for ice time.. however, I have NO clue what time they play, where they play and who thier coaches are... Crazy huh?

So what will I do? I have asked my self that over and over all day. I finally got an answer, I emailed a very pointed letter to the director of coaching for the local hockey association requesting some explaination from him. I doubt I will get any replies I do hope I get some because I would love to know what the hell he is thinking.

I hate waiting, I cant be prepared if I dont know. How do I know if my kids have to be at the different arenas at the same time? How do I know what team they are playing for. and what do i expect? I expect to be called giving ample time to get on the ice without running around and being totally disorganized. I seriously think that this should have been done LONG before this. Hell they finished taking registrations Sept 4th! that is almost a month. But no they hold off on the drafts, at least make the teams, and assign potential coaching staff, etc and see how that goes instead they have to have the draft, every player is rated A, B or C. A and B players are given preference, over the rest of the players. C and New players are last picked. Kind of like a game of red rover. Thankfully for the kids sake these stats are not made evident during the game.. MOST THE TIME!

So i wait, I wait checking the messages, hoping to get that call. it wont happen. I will not hear fromt he coach until Friday night at 10 pm. and I will tell him The kids wont be playing we will come and pick up the jersey, but I need more notice to make arrangements for my other children and thier schedules. You should have contacted me before this!

Am i being mean? rude? I dont think so, I pay good money to have my children play hockey. I expect some kind of professionalism from volunteers,. I have done the registar position and am aware that team set up can be very daunting. However when it comes to organization its a different story. Last minute changes because of they have to accomodate people, I have not asked to be accomodated I did in the past and it was rejected. I have asked several times in fact and they were rejected, I had to have my son sit and watch his uncle, and play his cousin on several years

Best Laid Plans

Sometimes the best kind of plans are not the best laid plans.

Lately, I have become very obsessed with planning, planning strategies that will help make life simpler.

One of my plans included the amalgamation of My 4 PC (Precious Cargo) in to one school. PC1 had been at this school for a couple of years and has thrived. So with all his set backs, and delays we thought how well the other 3 PC would do. Well what is good for one PC isn't always as good for another PC.

Within the first week, PC 3 and 4, returned to the original school. Where they have comfort, are able to be giving the chance to enjoy their career. PC4 is in a SK/1 split which suits her perfectly. and PC3 is in a 4/5 split with a remarkable teacher who has the patience of a saint!

However, PC2 has had a very long and drawn out September. Shes came home with stomach aches, headaches and lost interest in her home work. I remarked to my husband that something was wrong. He blew me off as a paranoid mother, whose way over protective. I knew I was so NOT wrong! I knew something was up. So, it came to a point where PC2 had been actively avoiding everything. Her friends, her homework, screaming and yelling, fighting with her Brothers. Then she got another "stomach ache" We asked her several times what was wrong. She said I don't feel well. I am sick, I cant talk about it. HELLO ALARMS GOING OFF IN MY HEAD!!! Staring at my husband, I asked him to speak to her. I knew what she wanted. I knew that she was feeling unsafe, uncomfortable but I wondered if he understood the serious damage this could do to a student who has been successful all along!

So after abruptly leaving PC 2 with her father to have a serious chat, I took PC 3 and 4 to school, Took a little detour to grab a cup of tea and came home. Walked in all I could stomach to say was "so?" Husband looked at me and said " make the call she is miserable and I wont let my belief in a different system damage her"I will say in my head i was doing cartwheels, hollering, jumping up and down. Thank you FINALLY he gets it I thought! I made that call.

My husband is a stern man, some call him a prick, I prefer to call him overly protective and set in his ways. He wants the best for our Precious Cargo. He wants them to know that he loves them, he will not let them suffer like he did in many ways. Sometimes it takes him a bit longer, hes a bit stricter and more staunch in his beliefs, To be honest very stubborn. Sometimes to he doesn't think until you actually say UMM DORK WAKE UP LOOK AROUND! Its only then that he realizes I am usually in the right.

Oh don't take it wrong, I am not always right ( just most the time) I tend to be very instinctual, where He is more practical and his thought pattern makes for rational decisions, I am more emotional which makes for irrantional decisions. Sometimes it works for him, sometimes for me. This time it worked in my favor.

So today, after taking PC 2 to her new school with her old classmates, her friends We walk across the tarmac and while talking with her teacher we find a line of 14 students waiting to go to class...
First they see me... Eyes go BIG.... Questions racing thier many minds. Then PC 3 walks around the corner. It was chaotic, there are screams, yelling, arms in the air, doors opening, other people peering out, more screaming, laughter, and even a few tears. Students PC 2 has been with since junior kindergarten are excited to see her, anxious to spend time with her. She feels like a celebrity... Then reality sets in This is no visit... More screaming, more jumping up and down. Sit here, NO sit with me... I looked at the poor teacher chuckled as she says, Ya could have warned me! lol

So after the reunion, class began, I quietly made my departure, letting PC 2 get her bearings with a gentle reminder straight home after school.

The thrill of being right isn't there. OK maybe a bit. But more so the calmness of knowing my PC are safe, happy and in a comfortable setting. She will do well I am sure.

So with a new school year there is also a new adventure waiting for each one of my precious cargo.. New friends, New schools and lots of confusion on my part.. I need a plan!

What Did I learn from this? Each of my Precious Cargo are unique. What is perfect for one isn't for another one, what makes them so different is they are nremarkably the same. This in a odd way is what makes them unique. It also taught me that sometimes, when planning things taking in to account silent indicators that show me there is a problem, and paying attention when my "Mommydar" kicks in.

So today, I sit in reflection and realize how much we all have to gain by considering all the options for the best laid plans.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Bright Side of Darkness

Bright Side of Darkness

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So It Begins

For 6 months of the year we hang out, camp, do stuff that doesn't involve 6 am alarms, in a freezing cold car with 2 inches of ice on the windshield.. Why do we do this? Because With the onset of Winter, the equinox, the snow, ice and freezing rigid temperatures comes HOCKEY! Minor Hockey the game of dreams, pride and excitment. EH!

Well you have to be up, out the door and in the arena by at least 630 am on a Saturday and Sunday mornings,We done our winter parkas, mittnes, hats, bum blankies in order to have our precious cargo.. complain, I'm cold, I'm tired, my feet hurt, i lost my skate, my skate swill hurt my feet,my glove is missing, my jock is itchy..

Until you make that drive to the arena with the lost skate and glove , that is when the adrenaline starts to pump, the precious cargo starts to focus.. forgetting his jock is itchy, his skates will hurt his feet.With stick and bag in hand they head in to the dressing room where they are meet by other peoples precious cargo. Whom, I'm sure were saying the exact same lines all the way there. The change room is full of voices, anticipating that great goal, the awesome pass and victory... The sweet taste of victory is on every single mind in the room. Player and Parent alike.

Once they are on the ice, you watch, you yell your fool head off HUSTLE, PASS, AWESOME SHOT! OH COME ON!!! ( Usually when the ref calls a bad shot!) You jump out of your seat cheering, yelling

YOU ARE PROUD! You are proud when that new kid on the team scored their first goal of the season, your proud when you see them passing effortlessly, when the defence worked hard to protect the net. Your proud of the assist, goal or just effort your precious cargo has put out for that game. Your proud because win or lose they show respect and good will towards their team and opponents, they played a honest, fair game of hockey. Win or Lose your proud of the memories your precious cargo will have for the rest of their life! The life long friends they have made, the team spirit but most of all how wonderful it is to watch a Minor hockey game and know that this is as good as it gets!

End of a game you never know what will happen but a few things are certain. There is the handshake, a possible dog pile on the goalie, alot of head banging, helmet grabbing and pats on the back.. Good Game Team! Great Job You did great! Words every player needs to hear! and many smiling parents.

Then its waiting.. waiting while your precious cargo and their teammates throw huge balls of hockey tape around the dressing room, watching the coaches duck out of the way of swinging sticks and flying objects, ...Then you hear the coach discusses the win or loss , They cheer, they holler they yell and hoot. Then they slowly disperse with great memories and many tales of the best game this year! ( at least until next week!)

General Rule of Thumb in our house is the Positive points can be discussed as much as possible.. Anything negative does not leave the parking lot. Once we hit the exit its over!

Then the trip home, This is the time you hear all the things that the coach told the kids, and all the gossip from the bench, which lines were the strongest, who had the best goal, what how amazing this player was, how funny it was when this player did this.. AND lastly my all time favorite line My jock didn't itch ! What a game.. Then there is that exuberant sigh... A signal of a job well done and time well spent.

Lastly, there is the most important stop after each game. TIM HORTON'S Hot Chocolate ALL AROUND!!!. ( Now it does not matter if your 25 kms from the nearest Timmy's and your house is 3 blocks from the arena YOU STILL STOP!)

To All the parents who get up at 545 am to get their precious cargo to a cold icy arena on a blistery cold winter morning, to the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and anyone else in the stands cheering, to the players and coaches, assistant coaches and trainers. The organizers But most of all to the pioneers who helped us have a great sport I tip my hat to you for a job well done! AND Who knows, MAYBE some of our precious cargo could be the next Bobby Hull, Wayne Gretzky or Tim Horton!

Keep your stick on the ice, Victory isn't just winning, its playing fair, having fun and loving what your doing!! See ya at the rink!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Climb Till Your Dream Comes True NY: Helen Steiner-Rice

often your task will be many,and more than you think you can do..
often the hills insurmountable, too..
but always remember..t
he hills ahead are never as steep as they seem,
and with faith in your heart, start upward
and climb 'til you reach your dream.
for nothing in life that is worthy
is ever too hard to achieveif you have the faith to believe..
for faith is a force that is greater
than knowledge or power or skill
and many defeats turn to triumph
if you trust in god's wisdom and will..
there is nothing that god cannot do,
so start out today with faith in your heart
and climb 'til your dream comes true
BY: Helen Steiner Rice

Time for Change

Its All About Me!

My newest decision about my lifestyle its GOTTA CHANGE !

I am embarrassed to say I am very overweight. I am not ready to admit how much I weigh, but I am willing to admit I feel lousy. I feel heavy, lumpy and just plain gross. So this is the day I start the complete turn around. I have made a promise to myself, for myself and will keep that promise no matter how hard I have to work to lose this excess weight.

You see, I have 4 kids. Yes, 4! Some say WOW how do you do it! They are so busy Well what they don't realize is that with every child I have I gained 40lbs!Just do the math.

Every day, I think I really need to do something about my weight, I need to change my life style, I am worrying my family, my friends, My husband and scaring my kids. I often worry if my kids are ashamed of me for being over weight. So its time to take the power back.

I want to be healthy, I want to be able to play baseball on a woman's team, I want to go to the beach without hearing " CALL MARINE WORLD THERES A BEACHED WHALE" I wanna look in the mirror and say Damn Steph, Your hot! I wanna be able to throw a bale of hay, shake and not have a few extra waves. I wanna be as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside.

Part of this battle I have taken is that I have battled with low self esteem. I have realized over the last few weeks, I am worthy, I am a great friend, a Amazing Mother, I am a loving caring wife who would do anything for my family. I am a good daughter. I do not have to put up with the self abuse that I have generated on myself for years. Now, I am at the stage where the self abuse ends. I have taken my spiritual journey of self discovery, I discovered a person under the layer of fat, that I often thought I had lost. But she is still there! She is screaming to get out screaming to be heard, seen and show the world how beautiful and positive she can be.

I will show my children what positive reinforcement can do, I will show my husband that the girl he fell in love with is still wide awake and waiting for her chance to ride this roller coaster of life with him! No more fear! Watch out cause its gonna be a helluva ride I'm sure!

If I am confident, my children will learn confidence.If i am confident then my girls especially will learn that they are wonderful remarkable beautiful creatures who can do anything they set their minds to regardless of the obstacles in their way.

Since I do not like the term diet, or life style change. I am calling this My Journey. It will take my on many adventures, and be full of obstacles that will create such a beautiful aura around me that will inspire my children to live up to their full potential and be the most remarkable people!.

So here it is MY Journey Its my Vow to myself..

I will lose the weight, being as beautiful inside and outside and I intend on blogging it so when its done I can look back and think HOT DAMN I CAN DO ANYTHING!

So farewell my friends, Wendy, Ronnie, BK Cl. Saunders. May you have a hearty life. But I'm on to bigger and more beautiful things.... With a much smaller ASS!!

Enjoy your day because today is the first day of the rest of your life!