Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Steph's Ramblings: 4 years and it still feels like yesterday..

Steph's Ramblings: 4 years and it still feels like yesterday..

4 years and it still feels like yesterday..

Dear Dan,
its been a strange long 4 years. The night you left changed everything for all of us.

Over the last 4 years I have remained strong, I have fought, succeeded and done whatever needs to be done within my moral compass to keep the children and John on the right paths. I did this because this is what you asked of me

4 years ago, I never got to tell you how much I respected you, how proud I was and how shocked I was at some of your crazy antics. I never got to tell you that even if I didn't get the Murray Millions that I would still be here 15 years later to love and cherish your only son.
I didnt get a chance to tell your ambition, determination and love for your family was inspirational. I never got the chance to tell you that your impromptu visits were exciting, and I enjoyed your visits. Even if you didnt think so. I never got to tell you that when you left the sigh you heard was not of relief but regret that you were leaving and wondering when you'd be back. I didnt get to thank you for giving my children the best memories to cherish, I never told you that Keegan wanted you to apologize for that argument in the hallway and never got the chance. I wanted to tell you John is a great husband and Dad, even if there are times I really want to duct tape him to the roof!, that I would do my very best to honor and be the best partner for him I could be. and be the one to take redirect him when he was making figure 8's with the lawn mower or trying to smuggle in yet another DOG.( oh yes, Fatman he learnt from the best didn't he?)

I also want to tell you that I would remind Barbie and Christine how much you cared each time they felt alone and scared they were letting you down AND how damn proud you are of both of them for everything they have accomplished.

I wanted to let you know that no matter what you said, did or how you spoke I understood everything you ever said to me. I took your advice and have worked diligently to ensure that I have built strong relationships in the most important parts of my life.

I know I never asked for anything, you found that odd but not once could I bring myself to ask anything of you when you were giving so much of yourself to others who were far more in dire need then I was at any time. I know you understood this.

I do have to admit one thing. I did lie to twice. well okay four times. First about the chickens yes, the dog ate them. It was the stupid chickens fault she stood there and let the dog get a hold of him. But dont blame the dog apparently the chicken was lulled by the dogs cobra like charms and well you can guess the rest..... 2. that snake was really about 4 feet not 1 foot and No i would never have brought it home as a pet Even though I thought about it for half a second 3. I never really hated Chimo I just well was annoyed that she ate my wedding presents and left the garbage alone. Lastly, for the record I did use hamburger in my spaghetti not cat. I am still really sorry you were so sick to your stomach (But as cruel as that was it was very funny MEOW!)

I just ask that in return, you don't tell John - I don't want him to know that I do laugh very hard when he is "having a Danny moment". You save me a seat close by you because I think I will need some guidance.But most of all more then anything I ask that you continue to guide us, watch over us and remind us that you may not be here physically but you are always watching over us and will always help when you can.

Be good and do not give the "big guy" a hard time. He does know a little bit more then you would think and well, Hes a bit older then you are. OH yeah and leave my keys alone will ya!

Your never to far to give me hell,
Love always your Favorite Daughter in law.