Wednesday, January 27, 2010
4 years and it still feels like yesterday..
Dear Dan,
its been a strange long 4 years. The night you left changed everything for all of us.
Over the last 4 years I have remained strong, I have fought, succeeded and done whatever needs to be done within my moral compass to keep the children and John on the right paths. I did this because this is what you asked of me
4 years ago, I never got to tell you how much I respected you, how proud I was and how shocked I was at some of your crazy antics. I never got to tell you that even if I didn't get the Murray Millions that I would still be here 15 years later to love and cherish your only son.
I didnt get a chance to tell your ambition, determination and love for your family was inspirational. I never got the chance to tell you that your impromptu visits were exciting, and I enjoyed your visits. Even if you didnt think so. I never got to tell you that when you left the sigh you heard was not of relief but regret that you were leaving and wondering when you'd be back. I didnt get to thank you for giving my children the best memories to cherish, I never told you that Keegan wanted you to apologize for that argument in the hallway and never got the chance. I wanted to tell you John is a great husband and Dad, even if there are times I really want to duct tape him to the roof!, that I would do my very best to honor and be the best partner for him I could be. and be the one to take redirect him when he was making figure 8's with the lawn mower or trying to smuggle in yet another DOG.( oh yes, Fatman he learnt from the best didn't he?)
I also want to tell you that I would remind Barbie and Christine how much you cared each time they felt alone and scared they were letting you down AND how damn proud you are of both of them for everything they have accomplished.
I wanted to let you know that no matter what you said, did or how you spoke I understood everything you ever said to me. I took your advice and have worked diligently to ensure that I have built strong relationships in the most important parts of my life.
I know I never asked for anything, you found that odd but not once could I bring myself to ask anything of you when you were giving so much of yourself to others who were far more in dire need then I was at any time. I know you understood this.
I do have to admit one thing. I did lie to twice. well okay four times. First about the chickens yes, the dog ate them. It was the stupid chickens fault she stood there and let the dog get a hold of him. But dont blame the dog apparently the chicken was lulled by the dogs cobra like charms and well you can guess the rest..... 2. that snake was really about 4 feet not 1 foot and No i would never have brought it home as a pet Even though I thought about it for half a second 3. I never really hated Chimo I just well was annoyed that she ate my wedding presents and left the garbage alone. Lastly, for the record I did use hamburger in my spaghetti not cat. I am still really sorry you were so sick to your stomach (But as cruel as that was it was very funny MEOW!)
I just ask that in return, you don't tell John - I don't want him to know that I do laugh very hard when he is "having a Danny moment". You save me a seat close by you because I think I will need some guidance.But most of all more then anything I ask that you continue to guide us, watch over us and remind us that you may not be here physically but you are always watching over us and will always help when you can.
Be good and do not give the "big guy" a hard time. He does know a little bit more then you would think and well, Hes a bit older then you are. OH yeah and leave my keys alone will ya!
Your never to far to give me hell,
Love always your Favorite Daughter in law.
Steph
its been a strange long 4 years. The night you left changed everything for all of us.
Over the last 4 years I have remained strong, I have fought, succeeded and done whatever needs to be done within my moral compass to keep the children and John on the right paths. I did this because this is what you asked of me
4 years ago, I never got to tell you how much I respected you, how proud I was and how shocked I was at some of your crazy antics. I never got to tell you that even if I didn't get the Murray Millions that I would still be here 15 years later to love and cherish your only son.
I didnt get a chance to tell your ambition, determination and love for your family was inspirational. I never got the chance to tell you that your impromptu visits were exciting, and I enjoyed your visits. Even if you didnt think so. I never got to tell you that when you left the sigh you heard was not of relief but regret that you were leaving and wondering when you'd be back. I didnt get to thank you for giving my children the best memories to cherish, I never told you that Keegan wanted you to apologize for that argument in the hallway and never got the chance. I wanted to tell you John is a great husband and Dad, even if there are times I really want to duct tape him to the roof!, that I would do my very best to honor and be the best partner for him I could be. and be the one to take redirect him when he was making figure 8's with the lawn mower or trying to smuggle in yet another DOG.( oh yes, Fatman he learnt from the best didn't he?)
I also want to tell you that I would remind Barbie and Christine how much you cared each time they felt alone and scared they were letting you down AND how damn proud you are of both of them for everything they have accomplished.
I wanted to let you know that no matter what you said, did or how you spoke I understood everything you ever said to me. I took your advice and have worked diligently to ensure that I have built strong relationships in the most important parts of my life.
I know I never asked for anything, you found that odd but not once could I bring myself to ask anything of you when you were giving so much of yourself to others who were far more in dire need then I was at any time. I know you understood this.
I do have to admit one thing. I did lie to twice. well okay four times. First about the chickens yes, the dog ate them. It was the stupid chickens fault she stood there and let the dog get a hold of him. But dont blame the dog apparently the chicken was lulled by the dogs cobra like charms and well you can guess the rest..... 2. that snake was really about 4 feet not 1 foot and No i would never have brought it home as a pet Even though I thought about it for half a second 3. I never really hated Chimo I just well was annoyed that she ate my wedding presents and left the garbage alone. Lastly, for the record I did use hamburger in my spaghetti not cat. I am still really sorry you were so sick to your stomach (But as cruel as that was it was very funny MEOW!)
I just ask that in return, you don't tell John - I don't want him to know that I do laugh very hard when he is "having a Danny moment". You save me a seat close by you because I think I will need some guidance.But most of all more then anything I ask that you continue to guide us, watch over us and remind us that you may not be here physically but you are always watching over us and will always help when you can.
Be good and do not give the "big guy" a hard time. He does know a little bit more then you would think and well, Hes a bit older then you are. OH yeah and leave my keys alone will ya!
Your never to far to give me hell,
Love always your Favorite Daughter in law.
Steph
Monday, December 21, 2009
What Christmas Means to me
To MY children.
There is so many things to say to you this year, first off... I love you I love you for being you. I love you for making me cry, I love you for making me proud, I love you for making me laugh I love for you for making me shake my head But most of all I love you because you are just enough for me.
You are 4 of the most complex people I have ever meet, You are determined, open minded, understanding compassionate loving, empathetic, sympathetic, warm, intelligent, I could go on for days. But the most important thing you have given me the gift no other person would be able to give me. You gave me yourselves.
I am proud of your accomplishments, your success, i am proud of the hockey games I cheered for you at, I am proud of you when you are smiling, i am proud when you have a friend in need, I am proud when you win terrific kids awards, I am proud that you are YOU.
Your future is going to be full of obstacles, hurdles, and difficult siutations but I know I know that you will be able to work through each one and give it your best shot. I also know you know when to come to me for help.
never hesitate to come to me and tell me you are in trouble, never forget I will support you and your decisions as you grow and mature you will be able to handle it but do not have to. I will help you,
I cherish each of you, I love each of you and I will always be here to support and understand you.
There is so many things to say to you this year, first off... I love you I love you for being you. I love you for making me cry, I love you for making me proud, I love you for making me laugh I love for you for making me shake my head But most of all I love you because you are just enough for me.
You are 4 of the most complex people I have ever meet, You are determined, open minded, understanding compassionate loving, empathetic, sympathetic, warm, intelligent, I could go on for days. But the most important thing you have given me the gift no other person would be able to give me. You gave me yourselves.
I am proud of your accomplishments, your success, i am proud of the hockey games I cheered for you at, I am proud of you when you are smiling, i am proud when you have a friend in need, I am proud when you win terrific kids awards, I am proud that you are YOU.
Your future is going to be full of obstacles, hurdles, and difficult siutations but I know I know that you will be able to work through each one and give it your best shot. I also know you know when to come to me for help.
never hesitate to come to me and tell me you are in trouble, never forget I will support you and your decisions as you grow and mature you will be able to handle it but do not have to. I will help you,
I cherish each of you, I love each of you and I will always be here to support and understand you.
Friday, December 4, 2009
its been a while since I last posted. So a quick update.
Well husband is back to work. hes now a dispatcher. Working nights. What a great postion for him. it suits him well. He loves to tell people what to do, and give direction. his nature.
Precious Cargo are awesome! Spoke with PC1's principal and had a wonderful covnersation about how well he is adapting.
PC2 well she is the one I rarely worry about.. but worry more about. She is such a brillant child but sometimes she has a the street sense of a marshmellow. She tends to open her mouth and insert her foot, she will stand up for her beleifs, morals and values But doesnt understand that it has to be in the right time and place.
PC3 well hes been okay, we are battle his eczema and of course it went right to his chest. Arghh.
PC4 what to say about her. She is the sweetest child, she has a heart of gold and wears it on her sleeve. She came home from school this week and told me that one of her friends stuck her tounge out at her and was so upset that she was mad at her. But then she was okay, after some loving from Mom.
Me, I am busy with School COuncil work, getting ready for Christmas and trying to stay sane. But soon discovered that I prefer being lower on the sanity scale the cookies are better.
So that is our update!
Well husband is back to work. hes now a dispatcher. Working nights. What a great postion for him. it suits him well. He loves to tell people what to do, and give direction. his nature.
Precious Cargo are awesome! Spoke with PC1's principal and had a wonderful covnersation about how well he is adapting.
PC2 well she is the one I rarely worry about.. but worry more about. She is such a brillant child but sometimes she has a the street sense of a marshmellow. She tends to open her mouth and insert her foot, she will stand up for her beleifs, morals and values But doesnt understand that it has to be in the right time and place.
PC3 well hes been okay, we are battle his eczema and of course it went right to his chest. Arghh.
PC4 what to say about her. She is the sweetest child, she has a heart of gold and wears it on her sleeve. She came home from school this week and told me that one of her friends stuck her tounge out at her and was so upset that she was mad at her. But then she was okay, after some loving from Mom.
Me, I am busy with School COuncil work, getting ready for Christmas and trying to stay sane. But soon discovered that I prefer being lower on the sanity scale the cookies are better.
So that is our update!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
What Type of Parent are you.
For ever, parents have always palyed good cop bad cop. Every parenting duo has two types of parents. The good cop, who rarely says no. ensures that the children get the Fun Stuff. . The Bad Cop is the discliplinary and has children do the work and the chores making sure that they have all the responsibilites taken care of before the FUN stuff. With our precious Cargos this is a tied position for my husband and I.
Being the "Bad cop" in our house is called the Lion. The Lion ensures that the chores are done, homework is done, everything is running smoothly. they correct any behavior that isnt appropriate etc.
Being the "Good Cop" in our is called the Gazelle. The gazelle ensures the fun stuff is ample, and lets them away with a bit more then normal, The gazelle is much more lienent then the lion and has boundaries but they are not as easily stressed as the Lions Boundaries.
My children have figured out which one of us is the gazelle and which one is the lion. The problem we have is that they have also figured out that there some things that Dad is more gazelle about then Mom, and vice versa. I admit sometimes I am a push over but in my defense Sometimes kids just need to be kids, they need to make it a little extra.
My husband will give in on things that I find more serious. he sweats the small stuff, when the poop hits the fan he is calm, cool and collected. I wish I could be that calm.
So this is where we draw the line. Both of us accept we have 4 weaknesses... Precious Cargos 1, 2, 3, and 4.
Being the "Bad cop" in our house is called the Lion. The Lion ensures that the chores are done, homework is done, everything is running smoothly. they correct any behavior that isnt appropriate etc.
Being the "Good Cop" in our is called the Gazelle. The gazelle ensures the fun stuff is ample, and lets them away with a bit more then normal, The gazelle is much more lienent then the lion and has boundaries but they are not as easily stressed as the Lions Boundaries.
My children have figured out which one of us is the gazelle and which one is the lion. The problem we have is that they have also figured out that there some things that Dad is more gazelle about then Mom, and vice versa. I admit sometimes I am a push over but in my defense Sometimes kids just need to be kids, they need to make it a little extra.
My husband will give in on things that I find more serious. he sweats the small stuff, when the poop hits the fan he is calm, cool and collected. I wish I could be that calm.
So this is where we draw the line. Both of us accept we have 4 weaknesses... Precious Cargos 1, 2, 3, and 4.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Life of a High Miler..
Every day, we sit down and eat, putting on the great pair of shoes we found on sale at the mall. drive our car, use items in our daily life that were transported here by a driver. A driver whose life is spent running the highways. They bring us food, clothing, shelter, everything we touch at one time or another was on a transport headed for our lives. They touch every part of our lives. But yet we blame them for any trouble on the roads.
So before we go any further here are some basic common knowledge items EVERYONE should know..
The average truck weighs in about 35,000 lbs. Empty. If you include the load which can be another 110,000 lbs depending on what they are hauling and the type of equipment they are using. How long does it take to stop? How hard is it to turn a corner? back up? What about the length of time they are behind the wheel?
IT TAKES A TRANSPORT
14 times longer ... to stop a transport (longer if the load is heavy.)
75 feet ... to turn a corner ( ever wondered why a transport takes up 2 lanes when making a turn?)
Do you realize every day before they leave the home terminal a transport driver must
Check the tractor and trailer for any defects, check all the lights, tires, brakes, joints, security of the load, and most cases the driver is responsible for any defects found enroute by mto inspectors or police. When you get in your car do you check these things?
When on the road.. Drivers must..
they must log every stop, fuel, or make a change in their load, become detained at a Ministry of transportation Depot for inspection.. Do you when you get in your car for a long trip.
While on the road.
they see more, yes, But they also get "bullied" in to dangerous situations like being unable to stop as quickly because you have slammed on your brakes. or cant get around a corner because your out to far?
trucks are now governed to a maximum of 105 kms/hr because of government regulations.
Truckers are usually hauling heavy and have difficulty getting up steep grades, or hills. They will slow down and try to avoid hindering traffic.
They also are more prepared for upcoming traffic stops... due to accidents, construction or road maintenance. because they are able to communicate with drivers up to 8 kms ahead via cb radio.
Do you realize that a trucker is more aware of the road conditions, traffic conditions and aware of the drivers around them because they are professional drivers and have been trained to be aware of their surroundings and equipment while on the road.
Transport drivers are Extremely regulated. the speed they drive is regulated, the amount of time driving is regulated, how much sleep they get, how often they eat.
Has it ever been noted that truck drivers put more miles on going back wards in a month then most 4 wheeled cars, trucks, suv drivers do in a year?
Every time there is an accident involving a transport. It is automatically assummed that it is the truckers fault. The car was never at fault. The trucker just wanted to run in to the car? Apparently he was bored! Hmm I say NO that isn't it.
Truckers are people, they have families at home waiting for them. Wives who pace the rooms, children who miss their Trucker parent desperately and they are doing the same.
The wife of a trucker lives in a constant state of fear. Fear of the unexpected, fear that they will get the flashing lights, and be left to raise the kids alone.Trucks face disasters daily. Disasters that can irrevocably damage themselves or the lives of others in a instance.
A wife of a driver is full of panic and fear. hearing of an accident on the highway, wondering if you will have to rush out to the hospital because your best friend, life partner has been injured. Fear that your whole life can crash down around in in a turn of the wheel. For some wives its days, some its weeks and some it is even a month or more before they see their partners. They spend a few days with their driver and he is off again, on a mission from dispatch. But we do it. We sit and wait. We watch and pray that that truck will get safely to its yard. And every day we are grateful for that one extra special moment we get with them.
Yes, truckers see many things. They see the road ahead. beautiful places they wouldn't get to travel, they get to drive through vicious storms, But they also see other things. things You wouldn't expect. They see EVERYTHING that happens in anything lower then them. being in the technological age it is much easier to share these images with friends, youtube, and facebook.
So next time you sit down for a meal, go shopping think to yourself How did this item get here?
Thank your local truckers because they make sure we have everything we need. Rain, Sleet, snow and much much more!
So before we go any further here are some basic common knowledge items EVERYONE should know..
The average truck weighs in about 35,000 lbs. Empty. If you include the load which can be another 110,000 lbs depending on what they are hauling and the type of equipment they are using. How long does it take to stop? How hard is it to turn a corner? back up? What about the length of time they are behind the wheel?
IT TAKES A TRANSPORT
14 times longer ... to stop a transport (longer if the load is heavy.)
75 feet ... to turn a corner ( ever wondered why a transport takes up 2 lanes when making a turn?)
Do you realize every day before they leave the home terminal a transport driver must
Check the tractor and trailer for any defects, check all the lights, tires, brakes, joints, security of the load, and most cases the driver is responsible for any defects found enroute by mto inspectors or police. When you get in your car do you check these things?
When on the road.. Drivers must..
they must log every stop, fuel, or make a change in their load, become detained at a Ministry of transportation Depot for inspection.. Do you when you get in your car for a long trip.
While on the road.
they see more, yes, But they also get "bullied" in to dangerous situations like being unable to stop as quickly because you have slammed on your brakes. or cant get around a corner because your out to far?
trucks are now governed to a maximum of 105 kms/hr because of government regulations.
Truckers are usually hauling heavy and have difficulty getting up steep grades, or hills. They will slow down and try to avoid hindering traffic.
They also are more prepared for upcoming traffic stops... due to accidents, construction or road maintenance. because they are able to communicate with drivers up to 8 kms ahead via cb radio.
Do you realize that a trucker is more aware of the road conditions, traffic conditions and aware of the drivers around them because they are professional drivers and have been trained to be aware of their surroundings and equipment while on the road.
Transport drivers are Extremely regulated. the speed they drive is regulated, the amount of time driving is regulated, how much sleep they get, how often they eat.
Has it ever been noted that truck drivers put more miles on going back wards in a month then most 4 wheeled cars, trucks, suv drivers do in a year?
Every time there is an accident involving a transport. It is automatically assummed that it is the truckers fault. The car was never at fault. The trucker just wanted to run in to the car? Apparently he was bored! Hmm I say NO that isn't it.
Truckers are people, they have families at home waiting for them. Wives who pace the rooms, children who miss their Trucker parent desperately and they are doing the same.
The wife of a trucker lives in a constant state of fear. Fear of the unexpected, fear that they will get the flashing lights, and be left to raise the kids alone.Trucks face disasters daily. Disasters that can irrevocably damage themselves or the lives of others in a instance.
A wife of a driver is full of panic and fear. hearing of an accident on the highway, wondering if you will have to rush out to the hospital because your best friend, life partner has been injured. Fear that your whole life can crash down around in in a turn of the wheel. For some wives its days, some its weeks and some it is even a month or more before they see their partners. They spend a few days with their driver and he is off again, on a mission from dispatch. But we do it. We sit and wait. We watch and pray that that truck will get safely to its yard. And every day we are grateful for that one extra special moment we get with them.
Yes, truckers see many things. They see the road ahead. beautiful places they wouldn't get to travel, they get to drive through vicious storms, But they also see other things. things You wouldn't expect. They see EVERYTHING that happens in anything lower then them. being in the technological age it is much easier to share these images with friends, youtube, and facebook.
So next time you sit down for a meal, go shopping think to yourself How did this item get here?
Thank your local truckers because they make sure we have everything we need. Rain, Sleet, snow and much much more!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Beatiful Dreamer
Every day I wake up feeling some what refreshed, and invigorated to get on with my day.
Every day I find sense that I was placed her to do something important.
Every day I thank God that I have the pleasure of being here one more day.
Every day there is a silver lining in one of my many smiles i recieve from my children.
What do I wish for them is that they are able to wake and dream the beautiful dream.
A dream filled with passion, love, patience, tolerance, empathy, but more then anything I dream that know and feel the love they have inside each of them.
So every day when I wake up I will always thank god for my presents.. future and past!
Every day I find sense that I was placed her to do something important.
Every day I thank God that I have the pleasure of being here one more day.
Every day there is a silver lining in one of my many smiles i recieve from my children.
What do I wish for them is that they are able to wake and dream the beautiful dream.
A dream filled with passion, love, patience, tolerance, empathy, but more then anything I dream that know and feel the love they have inside each of them.
So every day when I wake up I will always thank god for my presents.. future and past!
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